For the ten year anniversary of farming simulator Stardew Valley, developer Eric Barone revealed two new marriage candidates for the upcoming 1.7 update. One of them is a fan favorite that people have wanted to date for years. The other is about as far from that as you can get.
Let me tell you about Clint: he sucks. He is the blacksmith in Pelican Town, he has a weird goatee, and he is extremely obsessed with another woman in town in a way that creeps me out. If you befriend him, you’ll soon realize that he doesn’t really think about women as people, and has no regard for the feelings of the woman he keeps pursuing. When you get his relationship meter up to three hearts, you’re able to tell him that he just needs to treat women the same as he treats men in his life. Maybe this is a little extreme, but the idea of voluntarily having a friendship with a person who needs to be told that makes me want to throw up.
The other new marriage candidate, Sandy, is a shopkeeper in the desert area of the game. She’s cute and has pink hair. As friend of Aftermath Nico Deyo put it on Bluesky, “here are the two new marriage options in Stardew Valley: Town Sweetheart and Dr. Pervert.”
While it’s likely that Barone is about to reveal a storyline that redeems Clint’s character, he will have a long way to go. Personally I look forward to continuing to not date Clint as I pursue my new pink-haired wife.
