Tortellini, a goldfish that defied pretty much every conceivable odd to beat some of Elden Ring’s toughest bosses, has died. He was three.
YouTuber and streamer Eric “Pointcrow” Morino informed his community of Tortellini’s passing on Twitter late last week.
"Unfortunately, my goldfish Tortellini has passed away," Morino wrote. "He's been unwell for the past couple weeks fighting a systemic bacterial infection and took a turn for the worse last night. I'm doing my best as a goldfish keeper, but fancies are incredibly fragile, and it seems that after 3 years it was his time to go."
Goldfish can live to be older than ten with proper care and space, but there are many misconceptions around their actual needs and even their supposedly fleeting memories, which studies have shown are much more sophisticated than colloquial myths have led people to believe. As a result, goldfish in captivity often fail to reach their golden years.
“Rather than wax on all [the] mistakes I've made keeping [a] fancy goldfish, lessons I've learned too late (there is so much to know), and how devastated I am over this loss, I really want to highlight all the accomplishments Tortellini has done,” Morino wrote.
Tortellini led a distinguished life among video game-playing animals. Breathing – or extracting from water, via gills – the same rarified air as Peanut Butter the speedrunning dog, Tortellini managed feats that have eluded the majority of human beings. Specifically, he toppled a slew of Elden Ring bosses, including Melania, considered to be the base game’s hardest boss, and Consort Radahn, the final boss of the Shadow Of The Erdtree DLC.
This involved a setup that mapped Tortellini’s tank onto a grid, each portion of which corresponded to a controller input. Repeats on the grid ensured that Tortellini was never doing nothing as long as he kept drifting around, but that didn’t stop him from, for example, repeatedly trying to swig health flasks even when he had none. Attempts took hours, as well as a special build that focused on armor and bleed damage, minimizing the number of times Tortellini – whose memory might be better than assumed, but whose perception of the human world and all its terrors still leaves something to be desired – would have to hit enemies and dodge.
Tortellini also proved to be a capable Mario Party player.
Videos of his accomplishments have racked up over 10 million views in total, meaning that, as Morino has observed, Tortellini might actually be the most famous goldfish in history.
After Morino announced that Tortellini had gone to the great goldfish tank in the sky, mourners poured into not just his Twitter post, but also years-old videos and even games.
"Had to come back and watch this absolute legend of a goldfish after hearing the sad news," wrote one video commenter. "I will miss you little fish."
Recent years have seen a growing number of viewers raise questions about the ethics of pets and content creation, whether it’s the storm of bad-faith nonsense surrounding Hasan Piker’s dog or more legitimate concerns like Logan Paul’s pig being found abandoned in a field, disheveled and unhealthy, after she was “irresponsibly rehomed” according to the animal sanctuary that ended up saving her. Aftermath reached out to Morino for more details about his approach to taking care of Tortellini, as well as what he self-admittedly learned over time, but did not receive a response as of this publishing.
"[Tortellini] was there to make us all laugh and bewilder us on how a small fish could do so much,” Morino wrote in his Twitter post. “He's lived a god damn good life. I miss him so much."
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Nathan Grayson
