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Final Fantasy VII Rebirth Moogles, Ranked

Kupo

Square Enix

Final Fantasy VII Rebirth, like basically all Final Fantasy games, contains Moogles – aka little floating puffball guys who say “kupo” a lot. One of Rebirth’s several thousand minigames involves repeatedly rounding up a small handful of especially mischievous Moogles. Let’s rank them.

  1. Getting hit by a truck.
  2. Getting hit by a slightly smaller truck.
  3. Getting hit by a bigger truck.
  4. Getting pancaked by a drunk dump truck driver.
  5. Getting hit by a truck that’s actually a Transformer, robot in disguise.
  6. Getting hit by a truck driven by an estranged family member you never thought you’d see again.
  7. Getting hit by a truck once, miraculously emerging with no injuries, and then getting hit by the same truck again.
  8. Getting hit by a truck once, miraculously emerging with no injuries, and then getting hit by a different truck.
  9. Getting hit by all the above trucks at once.
  10. Getting hit by all the above trucks first in succession, then at once as a kind of Dragon Ball Z-like familial finishing blow.
  11. Moogle Merchant.
  12. Mokey (the yellow one).
  13. Molulu (the blue one).
  14. Moog (the white one).
  15. Mosh (the green one).
  16. Molala (the orange one).
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