Final Fantasy VII Rebirth, like basically all Final Fantasy games, contains Moogles – aka little floating puffball guys who say “kupo” a lot. One of Rebirth’s several thousand minigames involves repeatedly rounding up a small handful of especially mischievous Moogles. Let’s rank them.
- Getting hit by a truck.
- Getting hit by a slightly smaller truck.
- Getting hit by a bigger truck.
- Getting pancaked by a drunk dump truck driver.
- Getting hit by a truck that’s actually a Transformer, robot in disguise.
- Getting hit by a truck driven by an estranged family member you never thought you’d see again.
- Getting hit by a truck once, miraculously emerging with no injuries, and then getting hit by the same truck again.
- Getting hit by a truck once, miraculously emerging with no injuries, and then getting hit by a different truck.
- Getting hit by all the above trucks at once.
- Getting hit by all the above trucks first in succession, then at once as a kind of Dragon Ball Z-like familial finishing blow.
- Moogle Merchant.
- Mokey (the yellow one).
- Molulu (the blue one).
- Moog (the white one).
- Mosh (the green one).
- Molala (the orange one).
