Three years ago, Sonic (the drive-in fast food restaurant, not the blue hedgehog) started selling Sour Patch Kids ice cream floats — a sour watermelon-flavored slushie, soft serve vanilla ice cream, and sprinkles of chopped up Sour Patch Kids on top. Sonic itself sucks, but the Sour Patch Kids float is perfect. I’ve been chasing the pure happiness I felt after my first sip for years.
I’ve loved Sour Patch Kids for a long time, but the float kicked that into overdrive. I actively started seeking out new varieties and flavored items, something to fill the hole the Sour Patch Kids float left in my heart. The bad news is that nothing has ever come close. The good news is that I still got to eat a lot of Sour Patch Kids. Most are good. Some were awful.
Through years of research, this is where I’ve landed:
- Sonic’s Sour Patch Kids ice cream float
- Lemonade Fest
- Original Sour Patch Kids (from the Mexico factory, which I think are denser and more delicious)
- Ghost’s Sour Patch Kids electrolyte powder
- Peach
- Heads (the heads are a different flavor from the body)
- Watermelon
- Sour Patch Kids Glow Ups (they have glow in the dark confetti and are strawberry watermelon flavored)
- Trident’s Sour Patch Kids gum
- Big Sour Patch Kids
- Strawberry
- Grape
- Apple
- Tropical
- Sour Patch Kids Oreos
- Cola
- Original Sour Patch Kids (when they are too soft)
And if we’re ranking the original flavors:
- Red Raspberry
- Blue Raspberry
- Lemon
- Lime
- Orange
I’m also convinced that Sour Patch Kids quality varies heavily depending on where the candy is made. I have not done the research to determine which factory I like the best, but Sour Patch Kids can be downright awful or life-changing. Mexico typically has the best texture; bonus points if they’re a little stale. There are a bunch of varieties of the candies that I haven’t tried yet, but one torments me: Sour Patch Kids Gamerz. I can’t really tell if the flavors are different, but they are gamer-shaped and, unfortunately, only available in Australia.
The last thing is that a new sour candy has actually overtaken Sour Patch Kids as my number one: the AirHeads Xtremes Rainbow Berry Sour Belts. Please note, though, that the AirHeads Xtremes Rainbow Berry Sour Bites are absolute trash.
