I, Too, Could Easily Beat Elden Ring: Shadow of the Erdtree If I Had A Therapist To Talk Me Through It

I’ve said this on multiple episodes of our award-wanting podcast, Aftermath Hours, but I do not plan on playing Elden Ring: Shadow of the Erdtree in the near future. I’m not interested in clearing the base game prerequisites necessary to access it, nor am I really in the mood for the type of game it so clearly is right now. That said, I am positive I could beat it – obliterate it, actually – if I had a dedicated therapist to help me regulate my emotions throughout the process.

Kai Cenat, one of the biggest streamers on Twitch, recently brought in a therapist to help him topple the biggest Elden Ring boss of all: his feelings. By that point, Cenat had been marathoning the game for over 90 hours and had died nearly 1,000 times. Dozens of those hours had been gobbled up solely by the expansion’s oft-lamented-about final boss. Cenat missed his friends. He missed touching grass. He was frustrated, bordering on despondent. Then the therapist arrived:

Seven hours and 79 deaths later, Cenat slew Erdtree’s final boss, proving that therapy is the solution to all of life’s problems. So yeah, I’m pretty sure that if I had my own Elden Ring-specific therapist, I could buzzsaw through Erdtree’s gallery of notoriously sturdy bosses, probably on my first try. But sadly, I can’t afford one, so I guess we’ll never find out.