For those who haven't played it, a central component of Assassin's Creed Shadows is the 'League', a loose cohort of friends and allies you pick up along your travels. They all hang out at your hideout, can be chatted with, have a handful of story missions each and can be called upon to unleash extremely cool special attacks in the middle of a battle.
Most of these are memorable characters, rogues and misfits all, and I'm glad I went to the trouble of recruiting them. There's Yaya, the reluctant, brawling monk, who can burst into the middle of a fight and knock your opponents on their ass. There's Katsuhime, the tough-as-nails, pragmatic sniper who I absolutely romanced as Naoe. And there's Oni-yuri, the two-faced orphan who you can never be sure is telling the truth, but can always be sure will help you out by blowing poison darts at some bad guys. I love most of them.
Then there's Gennojo. Who fucking sucks. I hate him so much.
I encountered Gennojo--a thief--quite early on in the game, and his energy can best be described as "what if Lando Calrissian was broke and also a convicted sex offender". From your first conversation he's incredibly annoying, and making matters worse is that, playing as Naoe, he is constantly trying to romance you. Like, almost every single time you're given a dialogue option, one of them is for romance, leading to a series of conversations that (and I'm paraphrasing here) go something like this:
Naoe: Phew, we sure showed those bad guys
Gennojo: Yes. Now, let me kiss you
Naoe: No. Anyway, what's the plan? Are there more bad guys around?
Gennojo: Perhaps. Let us kiss, and think on it
Naoe: What the fuck is wrong with you
Gennojo: *makes kissing face*
It's incessant, and stands in wild contrast to the rest of the game's cast, where, like most Assassin's Creed games, everyone is somewhere on the character spectrum between "stoic" and "stoic, but also haunted by their past misdeeds". And it's not like he's comic relief, either; the guy just plain sucks, wavering constantly between pathetic sexual advances and melodramatic whining about his lot in life. If anything, he seems to exist solely as a test of Naoe's (and the player's by extension) graces.
Thankfully, membership in Naoe and Yasuke's League is by invitation only. At the conclusion of a small series of missions for each prospective member, the player is given a choice: they can either sign them up, or bid them farewell and never see them again.
I have never said "get the hell out of my face" quicker in a video game when given that option with Gennojo, and interestingly, doing so gives you one last choice. You can either stop him doing something incredibly stupid by punching him unconscious, or you can let him do this:
I need you to understand that, no matter how Naoe has been animated there at the end, if you choose the latter this is not a tragic moment. It is comedy. This guy, this schmuck, whose only motivations throughout the entire game have been to steal stuff and make unwanted sexual advances on the player character, has suddenly decided that he is going to blow himself up inside a storehouse full of rice, and that this is somehow going to...accomplish something?
It accomplishes jack shit! Naoe even says this to his face, quite plainly, and true to his character he doesn't listen. Even this guy's heroic martyrdom is a whiff.
I honestly cannot remember the last time a character in a video game who is supposedly on your side--an unlockable ally with gameplay benefits, no less!--had so few redeeming qualities. Like, this guy has none. He's just the worst, every line and deed an ordeal, and I cannot imagine the headspace of anyone who went into this game, endured his encounters and thought yes, I would like to invite this man into my secret and very cool league of assassins so I can spend more time with him. As for anyone who actually romanced him, well...I'd say "I'd love to hear why", but I don't think I actually do.
Whoever dreamed this guy up at Ubisoft, whether painting his broadest brushstrokes or writing each specific line of dialogue, if your intention was to make the Worst Guy Ever as a joke, as a bit, I would like you to know that you absolutely nailed the brief. Well done.
